FunNy hUmOrS!

Funny Humors

*** WARNING- When a guy tells you that he loves you from the bottom of his heart, means that there is another place for another on the top.

*** I think your father was a terrorist because you are a real bomb.

*** Sex is like math. Add the bed, subtract the cloths, divide the legs and multiply.

*** Love is a name, sex is a game. Forget the name and let’s play the game.

*** Life is long and useful like a toilet paper.

*** Do you know what fuck means?
F- forever with you
U- unhappy when you are away
C- care about you
K- kiss you
So that’s why I wanna fuck you every day.

*** If you keep this message then you will think about me. If you ignore it then you love me. If you answer me then you want me, and if you don’t answer me then you cannot live without me.

*** 10% I want you; 20% I am thinking about you; 30% I am reminding about you; 40% I respect you; 50% I miss you; 60% I need you; 70% I like you; 80% You make me crazy; 90% I adore you; 100% I am playing around with you.

*** I lost my teddy bear with who I was sleeping with. So would you like to sleep with me?

*** I want to sleep with you, to feel you on my naked body so you could worm me. But I couldn’t find you last night. Where were you my damn pajama?

*** I am accusing you of the law number 0569, the punishment is to stay in my bedroom for 2 days.

*** In this world exist just 2 types of persons. First- Me and 2nd the persons that likes me.

*** For a kiss press 1, for a hugs press 2, for an unforgettable night press 3, and for all dial my number.

*** This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat. Now read it without word cat.

*** Don’t be sad, don’t feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too.
*** Roses are red, violets are blue.. I am beautiful, but what happened to you?!

*** Remember one time when we were in the train and you were looking through the window and then I stuck my ass out and people thought that we were twins?!

*** I am a sexual virus of the computers that just entered in your keyboard and make sex with the buttons and you like this because you smile.

*** I am a killer, I kill people just for money, but because you are my friend I will kill you for free.

*** Did you know why blonds cannot write number 11? They don’t know which “1” to put in front!

*** What is wrong with your cell phone? Every time I call you the operator says” The person you’re calling is a monkey , please call at the zoo.”

*** Your teeth are right as the stars on the sky, a light yellow and with a big distance between each other.

*** Three monkeys escaped from the zoo. One was caught eating a burger, another one was caught playing soccer, and the third was caught reading this message.

*** I was shopping today and then I saw in the window shop something wonderful, gorgeous, and hot I wanted to buy it for you, but then I realized that it was just my reflection.

*** My mom always told me that the devils have tails, and that’s why you caught me staring at you, cuz I was looking for yours.

*** I asked for a flower and they gave me a whole garden, I asked for a worm hug they gave me the sun, I asked to suck my **** and they game me your number.