playing dumb

I am tired of studying.... Did u notice that STUDYIG ends with DYING? I don't think that was a coincidence ... yeahhh

History and Govt

Does History actually exist. I mean we are aware of events that happened in our own life time, such as personal events and also events that happened to people close to us. But in general, is it all the truth? Is it what actually had happened? Are the images portraying a right fact in your books? Are all the description really accurate? Is all the real history is held by the Commission of Truth, or is is actually given to us. I do not think so. I mean the Government really controls the media and uses it too, but it also controls every aspect of your goddamn history. I started to realize that I do not believe History actually happened as it is written. Example. Lincoln did not really free all the slaves. The person that really started all this movement was DuBois a major person, and not only known as the first African American to obtain a PhD from Harvard. So yeah. It makes me realize so many thins. And the quote that says something like, The past is what makes the present, or the history is what makes the present. Well I think it says that, because since the Govt controlls the history, they expose it in a way, that we all want to see it, and in the way they like it. And of course this is what makes the present. We say that we use major leaders' forms of creating a hierarchy. Bullshit, you don't even know what methods they used. Tell me how then Egyptians had so many awesome and still undiscovered ways to built those pyramids. It is still unknown. And no body in the present will be able to construct one. It is impossible. I am thankful for that. People now a days, are not smarter. They are smarter in technology only, because this is basically what rules the world. If a person is not technical wise, doesn't mean they are dumb. In the past, they did not have cell phone, and any other electronics. And look what wonders of the world they have created. Anyways, so back to HISTORY. Hmm well i guess to really create a movie about past, only documentaries and gathering members, and reporters that have been part of a specific event. Everything is recorded and passed on.You cannot go back now and rip pages from the book and create a new history that happened 500 years ago. It is impossible. Yes you can go now in the 1980's chapter, and add a whole new history. Because it is recent, and there are millions of events that people are not aware if it. There was always always a war, and there is still war. Wars never ended. It doesn't matter if it was a civil way, world war or a genocide... so yeahh...... I have the government from the bottom of my heart. I hate the politics, and debates. They only can debate and care about money, and collect taxes, but do not do anything for the internal problems. All they care is spending billions on weapons to protect the country, cuz we wont have a country if we wont be protected. Well morons, don't go in other countries digging for a war, because this is what will cause attacks. Just stay inside and make your country and make a better country. Mind of your own business.

things change

It's so funny how people change. How some new people enter in your life, and become your friends, and some old friends since childhood become total strangers.
I do not appreciate also the fact that some people you find yourself spending a few time with them, even a little time every day, they assume a certain thing about you, they assume your personality, when in reality you actually do not know nothing about me. In High School, there was a person that always told me I was thing and that, assuming and telling things, even if it was in a form of a joke. It is so funny, because I hear it and I laugh and say no. but the person does not even believe it. Trust me, if you get into my shoes, you will so take everything back, and even apologize.. soo yeahh

=(

Huh..... I'm so freaking depressed ;-/

my lasts

hmm... yeahh well. The name says it all. You know some people say, Live your life, like it was your last day. Well basically this is what I am doing. Not really actually ding everything I WANT to, but almost there. I walk differently now. I see so many things arund, and I do not take it for granted. Halloween is coming, and it will be my last one here. I honestly dont want a big thing. I just want to celebrte it decent, nice and memorable with my closest friends. I am tired of being surounded of people that do not care. And if they don't, why should I. Now i chose better with who i want to hang out; with who I want to see a movie; with who i want to get lunch and so more. Why waste time with people that don't care. So this is how I am now. I wish people see this, and those that care will dedicate time to you; to listen; to hang out; and to talk; and most important, to understand.

Happy Halloween homies LOL.

Hip Hop vs America

Why is Hip Hp under attack? Why the American society has targeted it? Does Hip Hop embody a bad image? Does it insult other? Why should they take all the blame?
Between Hip Hop and street gangs or crimes, is no correlation. I could even say ZERO. Hip Hop just rhymes about street gangs, about the society how bad it is. They don’t make it bad. They do not influence any minorities. Hip Hop itself it is influenced by the world around. And how come America is going to stand up now, and blame Hip Hop for street violence and many more, when actually Hip Hop sings about what is going on in the world. The government should first take care of that, and then take responsibility about what Hip Hop is about.
Some artist chose their own style, their own words, and it is already to the public to be the audience. If an artist chooses to write about in the streets, well let it be. A lot of people will be able to relate to that, because it is the reality. If an artist picks to write about money, and power, let it be.
Now you are going to wonder bout the words that has created a contraversary. Hoes, Bitched… hmm what they mean to each individual, it will be taken differently. Hip Hop does not put the women’s value down. Just think about this. How many times you found yourself in a circle, and a woman will call on her female friend, a bitch. Was that attributed towards her negatively? Probably not. But then why when it comes to Hip Hop lyrics it is a battle of disrespect. I am not saying that some rappers should not be responsibility for what they say, yes there are some. And there should be probably an extended limit.
Also, how can u judge an artist only by a video? 0Ohh big deal, there are half naked women n the video. By the way, those women were not forced to be portrayed like that in the video. They had a choose. If they choose to be exposed and carry themselves like that, then let it be. Don’t judge a rapper by a 4 minute video, and you can already jump to a conclusion about their life, or personality, based only upon that video. Only!
Was Hip Hop only, or is Hip Hop only addressed to colored people. Nope, it never was. Hip Hop was created from different genres of music, funk, jazz, pop and has created this awesome, powerful genre, called Hip Hop. It is a multi cultural music that was created in the West and over time has influenced the Eastern nations. A colored person listens to it, Hispanic, white, Chinese, Indian, European, Jewish, you name it, and it is there.
Now, about how it is attacked. Drug abuse is a huge issue. Just face it. Racism is built in our minds, even though you do not realize it. It affects our cognitive thinking and it is conditioned by the cultural deficiency. The statistics showed that when asked the US population to describe a crack head, how it looks like; 90% described as African American male. Is just that a coincidence to my topic or it does represent it. And when you look at the statistics of the drug use in Seattle, 71% is white that abuse cocaine. The rest are Black and Hispanic. Then explain why the rate of arrest it is 60% being black? Is it because the prototype we have in our mind affects the way we picture a drug user, could it be because of the space open, that white people will not get caught because they intend to do it in a close place, where Hispanic and black are doing more in the open?
Does this somehow link that Hip Hop is being under attack. Look at the latest news. Lil Wayne was arrested because he was found with marijuana and some other illegal substances. Why him? Why did he get caught? And I bet that the society will do so many things so that they can close him or put him on probation for more than 3 years. When meanwhile Lindsay Lohan when she was accused for the possession of cocaine, she poor girl had one year probation. Big deal. Why so?
This is causing anger in me. I want to stand up for Hip Hop, and give a punch in the face to the society to wake up, and stop being so prejudicial.
[sorry for writing a lot, but still not enough. I will need sources to back up. Hahah this is just me, my opinion]

wake up call....

hmm..... It is damn hard for me to start this, and it may be the longest post.
Starting this summer I feel displaced. I do not know where I belong; where should I go; where will I end up; what will happen to me???
What am I talking bout? here is why i said all these..... Since I came here, I had to accept the fact that it was only for a period of time, for three years. When I started to get a taste of my new life here, I threw it all away. I blocked the fact that I will have to face the fact that I am going to go back. I did my best in High School; took advantage of all the possibilities; and even got myself into a pretty good college. Also last but not least, I got tight with really awesome people. And imagine this. It is not hard for me to pack and leave. But I also think about the others. How bad I will hurt them? This is breaking me. So yeah, I blocked it so bad......... that I probably live in my own world. Ignored my parent's talk, and everything around me. Ask me now a few questions about my cousins names, and far aunts. You will get a black stare from me. Ask me a really complicated word in Romanian or even a simple saying.. I will look at it like I came from another world.
One thing that pisses me off is that I did my best to get into college, and study here. And now for what? I could had taken my HS Diploma, and didn't give a shit about a Regents Diploma, SAT and college application. After ceremony, come home and pack, and I could had gotten back. Knowing that when i got there to apply to a University, the things that I got here would not matter at all. I could easily pay my contract and my tests and I am there. Easy rite? And I know all about this. But no........ I studied my freaking brains out, I got into a college here, and to quit in the middle of the year or even after a year, it will aggravate me so much; knowing I could had traveled, work or even chill all this time, cuz when i go back, the college experience from here would not matter there.~~ Fuck, fuck and fuck again!
I am still blocking this though now. I go to school, I have fun with my friends and enjoy my time. But when I come home and I lay down in my bed before, I cry myself to fall asleep, asking those questions that I wrote in the beginning. It is so damn hard for me. This stops me from so many things. Ohhh.... I don't even know with what to start. Im cutting down on my spendings, knowing that i have to save, and when i leave I want to spend like over $2000 on shopping-clothing. Also I am saving because I want to see a bit more of US before I leave. I want to go to Las Vegas and Miami- my main ones. Maybe with luck I want to go to Los Angeles, Atlanta, DC ... maybe. .................
I am just writing my feelings down, I am not asking for help or support. It is my damn problem. and I am trying everything. I am still pending for my Student Visa, and that is taking so much time. Probably till December.
0o0hh man and I had, yes I HAD so many dreams. Hmmmm when I think about the dreams i HAD, I slap myself now, so I can wake up.
I AM SO SORRY!

I also see my dad getting prepared more than ever, and my mom too. they bought a piece of land there, and they are thinking about having a house or themselves. My dad is buying a car soon for the whole family. A car that I will be able to drive, my mom and himself. This sucks already, cuz the one I wanted huh, he will not get it. So we ended up in the middle. I guess it's pretty fair. What else.. 0ohh some many things. My mom has canceled her credit cards, because she doesn't wanna pay them before we leave, and she just wants to have no dept, just her own debit card. 0o0hhh
I feel now like I wanna quit college, because at this point it makes no sense for me. Maybe I will end up not going to spring semester, and I know that for sure. After December, after my finals, I am going to work to get money, travel meanwhile and enjoy the last months. Hmm i want so many things... and hahahah [from a book] I am just going to hustle and sell cocaine. Gonna get up to $10 000 a month.,... lmfaoo..
This is so hard. I practically became so cold; a person without a heart.
FuCk My LiFe.
Yoo.. dont get me wrong, I am not complaining either. I freaking love my love no matter what. I never missed anything materially, and i have the best people around me. And I am thankful of that!
Sometimes I just have to accept it. Not everything is going to be how I hoped, and I just have to take it like that.
0ohh by the way, this is an awesome quote. "No matter how many years you thought you knew a person, at the end you actually don't even know him"
This does not go for me cuz I am not fake. I have created a new person here, and those who been with me all this time, knows how I am. [forget the person I was in the past, that has just helped me built who I am TODAY]
That quote goes more for the people, you did not know their past.

This still didn't wake me up. I am still going to live till the last day of my departure [which I hope will never happen], but ALL I am saying, is that I will still be the same. It makes no difference if I tell everyone I am leaving now or then. The only difference is that, now, you will just cry and be miserable. I prefer to cry the last day and have the best time now till then.

Random

Hmmm... I am going to write some random thoughts ... I honestly don't feel like composing stories or anything else that happened to me or yada yada....

People say- It's never too late.. ohh yeah bullshit.. Sometimes it is just too late..

College is not as easy but it not as hard as some teachers in HS told us. Ohh fuckk.... no matter where you study you may end up working in an office with people that went to HARVARD or Brooklyn College.....wow... same degree... and you know what is the difference.. U SPEND UR DMAN MONEY... !! I really do not want to graduate and have to pay my loan... 0ohh i will shot myself. Thanks I go to a good enough college.I go to Baruch.. and I love it!!!!!

I lost the belief in love... is there such thing... not.. maybe not at my age, or who knows.... I mean... will I ever find someone that actually will care about you without being obsessed..... to like you and still give you your space..... be funny and smart without being immature...... hold your hand no matter what.... surprise you with nice things not with stupidities.... be down to earth not act fake that he is a gentleman.... and also not forget good looking.. Bullshit when ppl say that looks don't matter.... yes they do. A man will always want to marry and spread their genetics to a younger, healthier and prettier woman.. DUH!

Life it's far beyond a complicated subject.. so please let's not waste time to talk about it. Life it is just a play and we are the actors... unscripted.

racism?

I always seen this happening in my eyes and I am not liking it. I mean, I hate people that are racists....... You may probably walk on the street and think I am a typical white American person that is conceited, snazzy and rich. First of all- I am not white American. I am Caucasian which is a different descent and different point of views. Second, I am not conceded bitch that is fifthly rich. And last, but not least- I am not racist. I never was, and I will never be. Today on the train I saw a white lady... so trashy. She was sitting alone on the chair till some black people came and sat next to her, and across her. On the next stop the lady jumped and changed carts. How freaking rediculous is that. How can u discriminate people like that. it is not fair, because this is what leads them to have low self esteem and always the though that they cannot compete against "white" people because they don't have the power. I mean the past was past, now face it. Everybody has equal rights even though there are a lot of prejudice happening. All ethnicities have a equal right in reaching what they want to achieve. White people don't rule the freaking world. They maybe be good in politics and stocks, but this doesn't mean they are the center of the world. They are good in what they are. Black people are good in sports, are good in rapping and are good in investing and anything else. They are great artists in HIP HOP, which a white person will NEVER BE. White people are into rock, and let them be. Hispanics are good in meringue, salsa, bachata, reggaeton music, which a white person will NEVER be! Correct? Well there you go. Everybody has their place, and sorry if I missed something else or I stereotyped, because I mentioned only music, because this is what came to my mind right now. But my point is that Everyone is able to be whatever they want. I hate when they will judge you by your background or race. I am European and excuse me that I have an accent, but this doesn't mean I am stupid or stereotype me that I listen to House and Techno music. Hell fucking No. Every person has its own taste. And yeah I am all full Hip Hop, R&B girl!!! so what you have to say about that. That I don't fit in because I am light skin... or I am so called "white" ... anyways..... back to those haters ... stop discriminating... Jeeeee... from my point of view.. sorry but I love Hispanic and Black people. I don't like hanging our around all white people. I feel weird and completely strange. Maybe it is because I went to a HS with only Hispanic and black people and I am just used to. I may sometimes talk like them, and when I am around white people and i will say something like "ghetto" , it doesn't mean I am not INTELLECTUAL. This is the problem with everybody. We live in a new era, we should all get used to mixing races. I do agree with that. hahahah funny ... I though to myself that I will marry a person a different race than I am... yess and if my parents will disagree, which i think they will not.. I would not care. It is my life, and I do what I WANT TO DO!

TRULY LOVE YOU ALL!

Smoke Kills

yeah... put together by me!
i guess it speaks for itself.

something I found interesting

This is what I recently read in my horoscope for this week. It's so weird but I find it amazing.
"There are some people that will never change. But the only way you can change is by cutting them out of your life."
Well my response is... Either love it, or give it up [for the both ways]

summer review

Summer is about to come to and end.
I went through new looks and styles. Found myself sometimes into moments that I did not know what to do; yeah boredom and laziness. I did not do nothing amazing from this summer. Well, maybe some thing were good. I got myself a few months to finally relax. Last summer I had college classes and this summer I backed off, because college starts and I want to be refreshed and full of energy. And I already see it coming. Instead of watching Tv whole day, I go to work more often. My position has gotten so much better. From an Intern, going to a Part Time employee at a million dollar company. I also started again to design, and the most that inspires me is Music at the time. I hear lyrics and from there I keep coming with new designs. Also even traveling on the subway, walking on the streets, passing by the beach board walk, etc. I feel like i want to carry my scrap book and always add something new and new. But i do it when I am home. It's so funny that when i design I love to have my ipod on me and lying on my bed. This is how i design. Not at a desk, not outside, not on my huge kitchen table. I do it all in my bed. I spread my materials all over and I draw. So funny hahaha... anyways. .... I guess this is a quick recap of what I did. Ahhhh.... lol going to the beach a lot. I love getting tanned.. for some reason I don like being light.. huh..... im silly. w.e. mayb cuz I like dark skin boiiz hiiih [tru true] it'z me.!! LOL... I hate August, it's so humid and crazy.. hate it. I cannot wait for fall =]
Okay mii peeps..... maybe I will start writing more....
xoxo
~Stellz

Graduation

0ouhh ohh.. I haven't been here in a while... hmm.. I put up some graduation pictures LOL finally done with H.S. and going to College. What can I say? I am super excited to get into a new path, maybe a path where my future will be clearer, well at least more stable. LOL. we will see
High School has been an awesome experience. I got to do so many stuff, experience new things, and of course learn new stuff. I was involved in anything that interested me only. What was awesome but didn't catch my attention I didn't do it. I made new HS friends that are still remained in my life. I went through ups and downs; the life's path....... hmmmmmm I AM DONE!!!!!! MADE IT!

Marcy's B-day

AWESOME FRIENDS last a life time!
LOVE U mii GurLs!

some kool songs

beach

HELP ME HOWARD

http://cw11.trb.com/news/local/eveningnews/wpix-howardhome,0,2387349.htmlstory?coll=wpix-home-nav



OUR PROM STORY

what famous movie kiss am I?

Your Famous Movie Kiss is from Spiderman

"I have always been standing in your doorway. Isn't it about time somebody saved your life?"

What Famous Movie Kiss Are You?

inner beauty

You Are a Feminine Beauty!

You make any guy feel like a man, simply by standing next to him You have a classic womanly appeal - and you've got a look for every occasion This doesn't mean that you can't kick back in (designer) jeans and sneakers You just prefer to be girly and sweet as often as possible

What Type of Beauty Are You?

my element

Your Power Element is Metal

Your power colors: white, gold, and silver Your energy: contracting Your season: fall You are persistent (and maybe even a little bit stubborn). If you see something you want, you go for it. You have a lot of strength, and it's difficult to get you down. Very logical, you tend to analyze everything going on in your life.

What's Your Power Element?

How.???

I don't get myself sometimes. I may sound so absurd right now but I want to write it down. I am 5'4/2'' and I weight 120 lbs. When I am in school and surrounded by my friends I feel super skinny and tiny. When I am in the street alone, i feel like i have a good body, and when i see myself in the mirror too. But in fact I have low esteem for my body. When i am around my Best friend, which is tall [5'7'' and 130 lbs] I feel really fast. She has an awesome body, modeling's type. She is proud of herself and makes me feel so low. I do not know what to think. I freaking don't eat A LOT sometimes so i can leave my stomach. Fuck cuz i have it doesn't mean I am fat. Am I? I do not know what to think. I mean I exercise to get in shape and toned up and I am liking it, but again when i enter a store and i see better looking bodies, i feel like crap.
eww.. i dont wanna sound so low. Cuz ther are times i feel better, because you know what. I have boobs and i have an ass. I should be proud of that. At the end I am thinking sometimes that I do not wanna be skinny stick like runway models but not overweight either LOL
so I get to a conclusion, that I AM DAMN CONFUSED. hihihihi

* Patry on the yacht *

too bad we did not take that many pic on the boat.. but we had a blast !!!

~ Mii Hollywood Prom ~

I LOVE U ALL
*MEMORIES F0R3V3R*
~CLASS OF 2007~
<>

Million thoughts

So many reasons why I hate him.

I’m writing this not only to say what I think, but what I say its true, after observing it close over a year, and to also open your damn brain. It is right that when you are so caught up in your bf thing, you intend not to listen to your friends that care. There is a thing u have to learn that whatever a close friend tells you it is for a reason same thing of what you dream. Dreaming is like a way of understand your unconscious mind what u cant do it in reality and cant confront it, so that why it happens in your dreams.

Maybe you may read this and forget about it, or you may take this and understand word by word. I am not exaggerating and I am not making anything up. I am not hating because it makes no sense of hating on an unhealthy person that is empty headed, you!

It all started since this year on my birthday………. How can he be so selfish not coming to my birthday and go out and exercise. Luckily she liked that because she had fun without him anyways. She did not make a big deal out of it, when on the other side is this would happened to him, he would had bugged the whole night. When she is at my house, we have a good time, girly time. He calls every fucking damn hour. Next time I hear that phone ringing more than three times a day while she is with me. I swear I will throw it and smash it. You are just checking on her. She is with me, what can it happen.

In the beginning he was jealous at me because you were with me. He is so unconfident about you, paranoid that she will cheat on you. How the hell she can cheat on you. She is with me, is she ever does this, she knows how messed up she will be and how I will not talk to her. This shows how much you don’t trust her. You think she goes to club and fucks everybody. Are you serious? Whatever she does, or how ever she has if, it not about hocking up, what a damn moron he is. Oh by the way. I you Kat read this, you know I have a long way, this is not even half. And if it happens that he is reading this, here is a message for him > Keep on reading, and if you hate me, and you think all I say it’s because I want you both off, you are wrong. I say all of this from what I observed, and from what came from her mouth, she is just too week to tell you. She will kiss his ass to say sorry and not continue with the drama, and same thing with him. Saying sorry, listen > Talk is cheap!

One thing that makes me mad is the lack of education. I hate drugs from the bottom of my heart. If I say drugs I mean illegal drugs. Everything starting from weed and so on. How the fuck she wants to get high. This pisses me off more than anything. There is so many ways to have fun and feel good without alcohol or weed. And one more messed up this is that, if she asks for week, he will get it for her. ARE U AERIOUS. You are her boyfriend, aren’t your supposed to stop her from taking drugs. This means he is a fucker too. If I had a boyfriend offering me week, he will be ex the next day! REDICULOUS. Maybe I think different than you do. Well it because then I have morals and I value myself. On the other hand all you do shows the minuses from these values!

When you say that on one day you are the greatest couple on the planet, the next day you feel like letting it go. This shows your insecurity. You say you expect more from him. Well darling, your expectations will never meet your needs. If you feel that way and it didn’t come true, this means it will never. He is not the same as you are, and this is how he is. He said he will change, but he will not. That talk you had about changing and doing this and that it was just cheap. It was in a way like manipulating you. And talking about manipulating. He is already. Cuz the jealousy for me was because he wanted to take over the BEST FRIEND. When you have friends, boyfriend, family, they all are PART of your life. He wanted to be WHOLE of your life. Hello. She has a life, college, work not like him. I don’t even know what he cares about. And those are his problems. I am not judging, cuz I don’t know him.

The night for a club for my birthday, he wanted all the attention on him. Cuz he could not make it to club, doesn’t mean she cannot go with me. Then again ya both started to argue being so disrespectful the fact that you knew it was my birthday and I had to stand in a line or on the side alone and watch bunch of new Yorkers passing by on 42 street when he knew that your best friend is there, and he taking you over a convo that was ridiculous was disrespectful. He is selfish god damn it! Sometimes he does it in purpose. When you are at my house, me and you talk. Riinggg.. a phone call from him, ahh he is bored, and he want to talk to you, knowing the fact I am there. Dumb ass, doesn’t he have other friends?

A great example of how talk is cheap was at the restaurant past Saturday. He said he was going to change, but it showed how it was useless. I was surrounded by polish people, tried to have fun and keep a conversation with who I could, and trying much not to interrupt you from him. At the end of the day he was still not satisfied with it. Meaning I took her away from him. I know how much he can not stand me, and I feel it. Stop trying to cover it, cuz it will never help. He said you paid more attention to me than to him. I mean, no body made an effort to say ONE word in English so obvious I was just staring around. And all he wanted is to have you, you and you. Have respect for the others too. We all are in a restaurant , its not like he will grab you and just cuddle, be respectful to her parents too. Showing his ego is really immature, and stupid.

You saying so many times how much you want to break up./ This never happened. You are so light minded, and you get manipulated so easy. It is because you are so unconfident, and you do not know what you want. All you do is college, work and him. I never saw you doing what you love to do. You can find a hobby and practice it after school, work or anything. Hang out with friend from work, have fun and meet new people. I have never saw that happening. All after school or work it has to be him. Or the reason that you cant hang out with people from work or college it is because of him. He is too jealous, God Damn it, he is a psycho. No matter how sweet he can be, and make jokes around me. But inside he is not that person on the outside and how he acts. He acts nice to win everybody’s heart. But imagine how it is being married to that person. WOW. Too controlling.

Sometimes I think you are being the same like he is. When you told me you wanted to move out and find a roommate. You wanted to do it with a friend. And then he tells you he wants to move out too, with his best friend. You jumped and bugged out for him not telling you and why cant he move in with you. Hello first of all you just being selfish, cuz all this time you said this and that about him, and now you want to move with him. Let him do what the hell he wants. You acting now like he does. OMG. YA KIDS SOMETIMES. Make up your god damn mind.

I don’t even know how you will take it. All I said was what I think.

When you say you are scared to be alone and not be in a relationship. I think that is bogus. I mean there are so many things you can do, not only sex. Huh. You can find something to do, more time to yourself. Shit, I been single for over a year. And it was my best year ever. I didn’t need no tail tied up to my ass, no calls like “why didn’t u call me”, because I had a busy day and you were not on my mind because I had other things to focus on. I am going to college and now summer is coming. I will have so much fun. And sorry, if we both decide to go to Florida, I don’t want him crying this and that, and I don’t want him to come. But obvious ya again will argue and then he will be calling like million times a day. But I will pick up the phone and tell in the face to fucking stop bugging out, or damn throw that cell phone in the water. I so want that to happen. Because I am strong and I am not scared to say what I think, because this is who I am. Saying something you don’t mean, its not being true to yourself. And being true to yourself make you more confident.

You tell me sometimes one thing, and then you so insecure and tell him other thing.

OMG my damn fingers hurt. WHY I have this upon my hearty. Well the reason is why, because I am tired to see you like this. I am tired of all the time when havinmg a conversation with you. It is about how psycho he is, and this and that. Have I ever had a conversation about how much you are happy, and how wonderful he is. Nope, never. I want to hear something romantic. I want to hear real feeling. Where did this disappear. Sorry but then it comes to a conclusion that he is not for you. And no matter how hard for you it is to let this go and realize it, it has to happen. If no then you will suffer. He will never change and this is how it is. You ignore to accept it, cuz you are being so loose sometimes. Don’t be scared of being alone. You need to learn so many things, and damn take opportunities. Look for what you want. Take classes, I don’t know. I don’t even know what you really want for a career.

I don’t know if this was useful, but I been typing thing and typing.If you don’t listen, then I am sorry. You will ever be like lying to yourself and have a pain inside.

I LISTEN TO WHAT PPL HAVE TO SAY BECAUSE IT HAS TO BE WITH A REASON. I DON’T SAY THIS BECAUSE I DON’T LIKE HIM, BUT I DON’T LIKE HIM FOR A REASON. And all the reasons came from you, and your mouth and actions I saw. Its not like I am coming up with an illusion story.

Life its not a movie when everything comes romantic. And for me it seems you are just existing and not really doing what you want. Look at this> “The difference between great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives actually, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively waiting to see where life takes them. The difference between the two is the difference between living fully and just existing” - Michael E. Gerber. Maybe at least this will make you think more about YOUR LIFE in general!

Only a person who really loves you will open your eyes and try everything to see you happy. And a “homie” will just tell you to have fun! Having fun and life fully are two different things!

P.S. if somebody reading this tells me I am nobody and how dare I say this. Well screw you. My life if fully created by me. I observed everything with her, and you see it took me a while to pull this out, because I am EDUCATED!

think

<3 xoxo

Stella's sweet bitter apple!

So this is how we share the throne!

I just found the place where I belong!

TATTOO

Once upon a time, a girl under the name of a Star, born on the 4th Month and a girl under the sexxines of a strawberry, born on the 12th Month, have been friends for the past 4 years. Shared tears and laughs, went through ups and downs and are sister for life. On April 29th, the courage has come in the heart and decided to leave an unforgettable cool mark. So they decided ti get matching tattoos.
The story just reflected the meaning of the tattoo!

s0mE RaNd0m PicS Fr0m Sk0L

"tReS L0CaS"

Cuz I can

Yeayy I am back, cuz I can
I know you all missed me
Yes, back to talk shit, just deal with it LOL
You all can kiss my ring,
maybe you can learn a couple of things
I will even try to school your dog
rolf rolf rolf
hhahha
Yeah you can see I am bored
Nah I don't play by your rules
I make my own

noo this aint a lyric, and I aint trying nada. Just bored. I needed some come back
Ahhh I am soo tired of my Intern, i wanna wuit soon and yess man go to A&F, here I come!
Skol been horrible, I am so lazy, I dont even feel like going anymore huhhh suxxx....
I wanna summer, yesssssssssss summeer. beaches, party, fun, sleep lol, shopping, ayy relax
Yes i got ino BARCUH, well not a really big deal, but this is where I wanna go for the first year. Then definitely maybe transfer some place else. FIT? USF? Maybe? lol or maybe not...
Hey my parents left last weekend like from Friday till Sunday. I handled the house pretty good. I felt good, even cooked [for the first time a good meal], did laundry [all by myself, with my bff help] THX SIS for coming. love ya.... I was even surprised, and proved myself i can handle living alone. I wish i can move out, yeah my n my Katinka, that would be awesome hehehe. maybe maybe [couple of years for me]
OMG soon I am turning 18. i know not a big deal, but I do feel a bit different though. heheh can't really explain it. Maybe it is because it's justa label that we get stamped with when we turn that age? Or is just our thought about that label? hmm anyways.... soo yeah i really want to get a tatttoo on my _________ [SURPRISE FOR LATER] so yeah, let's hope

laterss people. I just buzzed really fast
mwahhzzzz

Random

naughty hahah.REtArDs
guess who is showind da finger LOLS [not me hahah]

Noo.. don't look at the bottle. hahaha I am there in the background lols

Sexxiest sisters luvzzz

track jacket. WIHS hahaha

yayy mah gurls!

hahah me n Eddy, ymmyy good banana

Twin Day

PoOr Me

"YoU sAy Im A bItCh, LikE iT's A BaD tHinG"
"DrAmA quEeN"
I DiDn't EsCaPe, tHeY jUsT GaVe Me A dAy PasS"

LoVe yA AlL

The SeXi TrIpLeTs

beauty of nature

POCONO vacation, '06-'07