Not bad

Yepp Wats up?
Hmm havent really write here, only puting some images hihihih! I am doing good and thinking so much about colleges and my program for summer. I just sent my SAT registration and i was thinking next year to take ACT. Hmm to have both. cuz now most colleges (or lets sayon the west and middle) look for ur ACT. Today i was at YSOP dinner, it was mad coo. We had fun, it was my first time but i liked it, and unfortunatly i had to leave today earlier but next time i'll stay till the end. hehehe i did the most easiest thing, a Salad. lol hello i can't really cook, but next time i can try something else. When you always cook something and want to make it delicious, you always have to add some love. hmmmm Today i made a good statement. and listen to it.
blah blah blah were talking about ugly people or something like that.
My teacher: ... he said something about ugly people. i don't reember
Stella: I do not think there are Ugly people, even if they are not attractive to me, they may be attractive to others, and nothing is ugly, beacsue you can still find something nice in a person.
My teacher: Wow , i just love your statement.
haaa i felt so proud. =)
jezzzz this past week, Sconex freaked me out. oosh i found out a person that took my picture and put it as their first picture, and it was a girl named Ashley N. from Northern Thomas. omg i was soo mad, and reported the picture and deleted all my pics and changed everything there. aaa everything. Not using that bullshit anymore, anyways there hasd been this guy callingme since september saying some shit, that he saw my pics on sconex n blah blah. I hate it. Ahhhh Thats why i do not like to hang out where are people from our school. Maybe there are a few that are cool, and normal to talk to heheheh ;-)
ahh my b-day is comming soon. i want to do so many things in hat day i am a VERY outgoing person, so for a weekend straight i just wanna hang out and be outside, Movies, have fun, club, drink a lil bit ;-) exitement or go somewhere away idk Miami, L.A. uhh hehehe yeahh anyways ima look for something here in NYC LOL uhuu me and my sis are soo gonna rock it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okey dokey. i am gonna go and take a shower hihiiiihi!!!!!!
Laters

going way back

I was about maybe 4 or 5 years old.

Can this be the most adorable picture when you look thrugh your photo album.

Pure inocence.

Intorducing, my dad really young, with my mom and I am there between them.

3 Years old.

Do we?

Yesterday i had the craziest talk ever. I mean i did think about it, but i thought that i do really think outside of my box. Guess i wasnt' the only one. And there are millions of questiuon, unanswered, and this world seems to us Mysterious! A big Paradox, where we do live............. I have been told not to think that much about it and live your everyday life, it's a game, having only one chance, and after you are gone, you won't feel anything. This is such called "world".

Central Park

I just love the views from central park. My favorite place to be, no matter what season is out there!

Dylan's Candy Place

Candy Shop. yummy, but hmm the hot chocolate tastes soo bad and yucky, but it was still fun!!!

soo mad

OMG how can i start These days went o bad for me a lil bit. Jezz on Friday i cut second period and u kno, how that counts as ur whole day absence. So from skol i went to work and i didnt pass through my house. So the school called my house saying i was absent. My mom got so woried, that i didnt go to schol, and i havent pass though my house before going to work. OMG so she called me at work, I could not talk i was at the register. So the next thing i see her comming in the store, really mad, and asked me where was i today. I was liek "Wat are you talking baout", n she told me that skol called, but i told her i didnt wanna go to my second period class, so she wa slike "oh ok fine" hhehe n she left. Then jeez they havent train me how to do returns or exchange so that manager said to ask another manager around if there will be somebody like that. And in that day i had the manager that i dont like, and i know she doesnt like me at all, shes so ahh ahhh jelous i dont kno wat's her prob, so she was giving me an atitute, like i cant do stuff, and got me so mad that i didnt wanna ask her for nothing. Then thse fucking girls were stealing, damn mad peoples steal , and another manager guy went after her and cought her OMG it was a desaster that day. And today at FIT, god, i was in so much truble last time that they hate me so much, why black gurls have an atitute with me? I got into truble cuz peoples around me made me laugh and talk a lot, and i got busted and got nicknamed "celebrity" by this profesor, so i havent have that class for a few weeks and now we got back there and i felt like a loser when i got into that class, and i had some problems with my damn pics for the store and got so mad cuz they didnt copy all of then, and they got messed up, and they didnt kno where r the rest and i was talking with my another teacher n again that beaych was looking at me, like dman is my fault i talk again. I got sooo mad. That black girl is a college student that helps the profesor she was like out "teacher " for today . and maybe always damn she cant stand meeee....!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG.......... and even this is not all. I woke wp with one eye swalowed. jezzz guess from the winds these days, its soo bad and it hurts and cannot really close my eye, and gives me head aches, damn how am i gonna sleep?! I am MAAAADDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!

Sup folks? Long time havent really write here, only posted some pics. Ahh did ua miss me? The funny Stelka Belka hehehehe!!!! jk. Today i had a horrible head ache, and then i had this coffe, Caramel Frapuccino. my favorie cofe, and went home. Ahh it ruined all my appetite, so i didnt reaslly eat nothing, besides pop corn hehehe I was kinda bored, and started cleaning and editing my design Profile I think i need more works. I will see. AAaAa Let me tell u the funny soty. damn i never went to the Starbuck the one near Mcdz, and it was so werid, cuz they r asking for ur name. and i didnt hear that girl and i was like "Wat name" "The girl's name that took my order, I dont know?" i made a fool of myself, and even the guy next to her started laughing but she bitch got an atitude with me i was WTF. But then I said Stella. I aint going to that one anymore, only the one on Park Av huhhh!!!.....Anyways. Uhh i think i am taking a day off from work, I havent sleep much in weekends ,for the past 2 weeks i woke only at 6:30- 7:30 jeez. Soo Sunday is Girls Day. uhuu me and my sis r gonna chill. I miss her so much aaaa!!!! I want to see this funny movie that comes this friday and maybe chill in Central Park. long time haven't been there. yep yep.!
Livz to my sis. CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUCHOS LOVES ;-)
N hello my darling Kiara!! kisses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
N Joha- Hugs, Crazy!

smile all!!!!

Here is me, Rudy my best (cute) History Teacher, and my friend Kiara!!!

scoop

A peek behind the scenes!

wishing you

If there is love on earth, let it be yours. If there is joy on earth, have part of it. If there is health on earth, have it full. If the is peace on earth, let us all unite.

A bomb over me

I always saw myself as this radiant, outgoing and energetic person. Never ever in my life I felt depressed (oh well besides some moments that I can’t share here). Now, why I feel like I am falling in a stage of depression. I don’t have that much fun in school as I used to have before. I had energy, I laughed. Now I don’t even keep my smile starting 1st period. Imagine me for the rest of the day? Everybody thinks I am this perfect doll (white- which I hate, never fitted fully). Living in a perfect world, getting good grades, living in the city and blah blah. I have no idea. I even heard they see me as conceded and spoiled as being the only child. I know I am, but I have my limits, I am not the spoiled girl you will see on a reality TV show. I have self esteem and that doesn’t make me bad. Does it? Now I am in such a big mess that I have no idea what to do? I have so many things going through my head that I forgive everything even that I have hws to do. I keep post its posted on my computer so I will remember what I have to do and stuff. I mean since when I am like this? I used to detest depressed people, and now I detest my self as being one. I don’t and I can’t support of being one. I am getting out there. But I am promising myself not to be one. I do everything and hell it does help. I read articles and so many people are depressed. I feel like opening my clinic or helping them I don’t know but something. I can’t stand depressed people. There is so much out there. And I know it. I love it. Count this- you go to school/college and learning process for 13-15 years of your life or even more. It takes 20% of your life. Then you get a career, working 45% of your day, 20% you sleep. Damn what I remains, a small percentage and you waste on being depressed. That’s ridiculous. I always take that percentage and make is useful. Why do you think I am work? So I can make some money? Hmm maybe that too. But the main this was that I was so bored at home when I came from school, that I needed something to do. I work; you meet new people, and become more sociable. Depression comes from your illusion because you don’t take the full pleasure your friends cause it around you, the opportunities the life is giving you. But also it comes from inside you (also how you eat too. Teens which consume large amounts of Fast foods being their 7 days a week meal are more in risk of becoming obese and depressed, and hmm what you think may be the factor of obesity.. Death). We are so full of dreams and illusions that you don’t even know what is out there. I mean, take this as an example. You lay down and think about your future, how you picture it, who you are going to be. Of course you always think about something positive. But the truth is that this is not real. This is just a dream, and illusion you crate. You can’t predict your future and you don’t know how it may twist.
I never discuss this with anybody, and I don’t need a shrink because I am not sick or lonely or depressed person which needs help. Only your best and close friend could understand you. She will always be there for you to talk when you go through hard times.(you know you are the best, sis) And at the end I don’t talk about this with my parents, they never take me serious, and I don’t know. My dad, if something happens to me it is always my fault. Even when I get a cold, he still blames me of getting it, even if accidentally broke my bracelet, he blames me. How am I here culpable? My mom, she may understand me but not seriously. So yeah they are excluded from this.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa look at me?! Why am I writing all this? I sound soooooooooo “depressed” but ……but……… by writing all this it took away and from now one you won’t see this sad person anymore. And if you do, please slap me as hard as you can!
If you are not my close friend and you read this, I hate you more because you read it. And if you are my close friend you understand me and I am glad you read this.
Oh yeah. Hehe my ending should sound that I am happy. Yes I am, so let me make it happy. I missed school today.

Thoughts

CuLmINaTe PoInT

Fullflilling your dreams............ take the step out there
Whaaaaa...... I am so happy but in same time i am sad. Anyways the truth will come out sooner or later. I enjoyed my life here soo much, now WTF. recalling us back home. Thats soo SAD. I already got used to US. i mean hello, this is my city, I never was a patriotic, and i don't even want to go back. What i will do there, my language is already forgoton, the education there is uncomparable to the one here. I dont know. I want to stay here. My dad is trying everything, i have 4 choises, 4 hopes. If those fail then Bye bye everybody. Okk anyways. This ruined everything, lost my appetite. I don't pretty much care about anything, i don't eat, not the happiest person. .................................................................................................................
Here are the good news. LOL I got into the Express Fashion show. wowwww aaa thats awesome. It will be at the Express on the 34, Sunday. aaaa. i have to be there earlier, But damn i even work that day, but only till 3, so i have 3 more hours to get ready. I went n got my outfit, then i was soo late for FIT, but i went n everything was good. Finishing out skirt, then we had the Stylist from Essence Magazine, n some graphic designer, it was cool. LOL Doing this project which will be on the Window of Whole Foods Market Store aaaaaaaaaaa. Exited.!!!!!!!!!!
I am soo frustrated i can't even wait till all this to be over, and i want to go out. I wanna go to some clubs, Gotta get my dude to get me it ;-) i am boooored.......... Hmmm I'll go n check my e-mail. see yaa!!!!!